Did you hear the one about the funny quiz that was walking past a graveyard?

Did you hear the one about the funny quiz that was walking past a graveyard? Q. My company publishes a monthly employee newsletter. My boss asked me to write a funny quiz. I'm not exactly a stand-up comic. Help!

A. Ah, the funny quiz. Lucky you! It's not often that a company has an official sense of humor that they are willing to display for all to read. This is going to be a great assignment for you! A funny quiz is typically one where the questions and answers have no real purpose other than to make the quiz taker laugh. Although almost anything goes, there are some taboo subjects. Off hand I'd say that anything that pokes fun at a specific person, or groups of people, as well as anything that's anti-semitic, racial, sexual, political, or religious should be off limits. Remember, what one person thinks is funny can offend someone else. Even seemingly innocuous subjects like "hillbilly" or "redneck" jokes might not be funny to someone who lives in the mountains or the deep South (like I do). You can think of a funny quiz as a series of one-liners with multiple-choice punch lines. Because you are writing for a company publication you have a built-in "affinity group" as there is bound to be some common subjects that are company related and could be made into something funny. For example, if you work for a software development company then you might have a question that asks: What's longer: A CEO's week or a programmer's week? If you're not laughing then you have never had a programmer tell you that the project will be ready in a week. You need to walk a fine line even when using subjects like this in your funny quiz. Say that your company just posted a 4th quarter loss because a new software product missed its launch date by a "programmer's week". It doesn't take a rocket scientist to determine that you are about to tick off a lot of people if you add that question to your funny quiz. Try to avoid wornout jokes or cliches. A funny quiz should be funny, not lame. For example, still on the software train of thought, a question like... Q. How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb? A. None. They don't do hardware. ...is older than the mystery meat in that Tupperware container in the back of the lunchroom refrigerator. No one is going to laugh at that one. No laughing = not a funny quiz! The best thing to do is to keep an eye out for humorous, safe things to poke fun at and then write a funny quiz question. My advice is to start right now and don't wait until one hour before deadline. The only thing that's less funny than a lame funny quiz is no funny quiz at all! Did you hear the one about the funny quiz that was walking past a graveyard?

Places to See in Allahabad

Places to See in Allahabad Allahabad

Allahbad, formerly known as Prayag, is one of the fastest growing city in North India.It is one of the most visited holy place in India. Agreeing to Hindu Mythology Lord Brahama chose this place for 'Prakrishta Yajna'. The city boasts off some of the most notable parks and museums in India apart from regular attractions. Following are some of the favored tourist spots in Allahabad: Sangam Allahabad is synonymous to Sangam or Prayag ("place of sacrifice" and "confluence"). The three holy rivers Ganges, Yamuna and Saraswati merge here. That is why; Allahabad is comes among the holiest cities in India. The holy Sangam is the site for every year Magha Mela/Ardh Kumbh/Kumbh Mela. Kumbh Mela According to a legend, Vishnu was carrying a kumbh (pot) of amrita (nectar), when a scuffle broke out between the gods, and four drops were spilled. They fell to earth at the four tirthas of Prayag, Haridwar, Nasik and Ujjain (tirtha means "ford of a river"). The event is commemorated every three years by the Kumbh Mela, held at each tirtha in turn; the Sangam is known as Tirtharaja, the "King of Tirthas", and its Mela, once every twelve years, is the most and holiest of all. Patalpuri Temple Patalpuri is an secret temple, inside the Allahabad fort. The immortal tree,known as Akshaya Vat, is inside this Temple. It is believed that Lord Rama, has visited the temple and the temple was also seen by the notable Chinese tourist and writer Hiuen Tsang while his visit to this place. Hanuman Mandir This temple at the Sangam has one of the rare idol of Lord Hanuman in a reclining posture. When the Ganga is in spate, this temple gets submerged. Shankar Viman Mandapam Shankar Viman Mandapam is placed near Triveni.It is 130 feet high with four floors and has idols of Tirupati Balaji, Kumari Bhatt, Jagat Guru Shankaracharya, Yogshastra Sahasrayoga Linga and Kamakshi Devi. Allahabad Fort This fort was once carefully as the best Fortress in the entire Mughal Empire. At present is used by the army and only a puny area is open for visitors. Visitors are allowed to see the Ashoka Pillar and Saraswati Kup, a well, said to be the source of the Saraswati River and Jodhabai Palace. The Patalpuri temple is also here. So is the much revered Akshaya Vat or immortal Banyan tree. Ashoka Pillar This gigantic Ashoka pillar, of polished sandstone stands 10.6 meters high, dating back to 232 Bc. The pillar has several edicts and a Persian inscription of Emperor Jahangir in scripted on it, commemorating his attainment to the throne. MintoPark Minto Park that has been dedicated to Madan Mohan Malaviya is a must visit destination in Allahabad. The park has its prominence in the chronicles of History and that is why it is a must for both researchers as well as casual visitor. Anand Bhavan Anand Bhavan is the ancestral home of first Prime priest of India Pt.Jawaharlal Nehru and the "Iron Lady of India", Indira Gandhi. This place has now turned into a fine museum. Alfred Park Alfred Park is the largest park in Allahabad,& also has historical significance. The park has a huge sculpture of George V and Victoria installed in the very center. Khusro Bagh This Park houses the tomb of Prince Khusro who was one of the sons of Emperor Jahangir. Places to See in Allahabad

Places to Visit in Mumbai (Bombay) - Part 1

Places to Visit in Mumbai (Bombay) - Part 1 Mumbai was previously known as Bombay. Mumbai is the capital of Maharashtra state. It is the biggest and busiest city of India. The city is full of excitement, vigor and lots of fun and entertainment. The city offers many spellbinding places to visit. Let us discuss some places in Mumbai which you must visit whenever you visit the city. These comprise Gateway of India, Prince of Wales Museum, Chowpatty Beach, Elephanta Caves, Haji Ali Mosque, Hanging Gardens, Juhu Beach, Chor Bazaar, nautical Drive, Flora Fountain, etc. Let us see each of these one by one in this report series.

Gateway of India: The Gateway of India is the most beloved monument and stamp of Mumbai. It is settled at Apollo Bunder at the southern end of Mumbai. It is the starting point for visitors who enter Mumbai via the sea route. Gateway of India was built to honour the visit of King George V and Queen Mary to Mumbai over 100 years back. It is designed in both Hindu and Muslim architectural styles. The gateway is 85 ft high. The Gateway of India has indispensable historical importance. Visiting mumbai is incomplete if you miss this fantastic place to visit. Right opposite the gateway is the iconic Taj hotel. Elephanta Caves: Elephanta Caves is a major tourist attraction. It is settled on the Elephanta (or Gharpuri) island in the Arabian sea. The architecture of these caves is believed to be dated from 600 Ad and before. The caves are carved from the solid basalt rock and were originally painted in the past. The caves are divided into two groups. The first group is the large group and is known as the Hindu caves. The second is the smaller one known as the Buddhist caves. The Hindu caves has the stone sculptures which are dedicated to lord Shiva. The caves were a place of worship for Hindus in past. It is listed as a Unesco world inheritance site since 1987. One has to go to Elephanta via a ferry assistance from Gateway of India. We'll read more about other places to visit in Mumbai in the articles ahead. Places to Visit in Mumbai (Bombay) - Part 1

Goat Jokes and Funny Goats

Goat Jokes and Funny Goats Humans love hilarious moments. Some crack jokes to make other laugh. Some funny antics of people make others in vicinity to laugh. Many consider animals as funny, hence goats also comes under funny animals. Goats are curious and strange at times. Playful antics of funny goats can make one laugh in a big way.

You can watch a great deal of funny goats' videos on some television channels, youtube, and other online websites. There is numerous jokes related to goats are there in usage. When goats become scared they do certain weird stuffs, and it will look extremely funny to us. Goats feel itchy about their heads. Therefore, they search for anything that can help them in scratching. Do not be amazed, they might scratch their head even to our body. There are many bizarre scratching instances involving the goats. While talking about funny goats, their curiosity makes them hilarious. If you give something say a cap, they will be curious enough to check whether it could eat. Since goats can climb, you might find them in some unusual places out of their curiosity, entangled in mess. Many a time, you will not be able to stop laughing seeing goats kicking down kids and elders. Do not make goats to chase you; you might end up in a funny brawl. In one sense, the fainting goats are termed as the funny goats. It is because if they are startled or excited their muscles stiffen and hence they faint down. After a few minutes you will find them, jumping and running as if nothing happened. It is quite a funny scene to see a group of fainting goats fainting down together, by deliberately exciting them. The scenery of goats fainting sometimes looks funny though it is painful for them. What do you call a royal goat wearing denim? Billy Jean King. What do you call a goat with a beard? It is goatee! Why is it hard to carryon a conversation with a goat? Because they are always butting in. What do you call a goat that lip-syncs? Billy Vanilli. What do you call a goat at sea? Billy Ocean. What do you call a goat on a mountain? Hillbilly. Who did the goats vote for as president? Billy Clinton. What do you call a goat who is in charge of a university? Billy Dean. What do you call an unemployed goat? Billy Idol. These are some of the popular funny goat jokes. Kids are quite fond of funny goats and they enjoy playing with them. Kids tease the goats and make them do some silly things. There are some funny goat cartoon characters. Many companies use the images of funny goats in their merchandises. What a smart way to lure customers, right! People involved in goat care come across numerous goat jokes as well as funny goats. Goat care becomes enjoyable when the person giving care and the goat enjoys each other's company. Goats are so affectionate and playful. Hence, there will be some hilarious moments all the way. Goat Jokes and Funny Goats

Funny Signs

Funny Signs Market trends reveal that creative advertising is the need of the hour. Striking logos and funny phrases increase consumers' curiosity. Some firms believe that they can capture the attention of their customers through humor. Many companies use this market psychology effectively through their neon signs. Most businesses believe in promoting and maintaining brand equity because an established funny phrase or picture helps people relate to a particular product or company.

Many funny signboards use bright lights and appropriate colors. Most of the text on the signboards is black in color, because this color attracts a lot of attention. The use of the space is also important, all the letters should not be squashed in otherwise they would appear messy and onlookers may loose interest. Business owners need to give all the correct details to the artisans and make sure the signboard writings have been written as instructed. At times, the owners explain the pattern and leave it to the specialists to use their own creativity and experience. Materials such as aluminum, hardwood, and composite boards are usually used for making the signboards. The funny signs not only attract attention of persons walking by but also are registered in their minds. Thus, the company succeeds in making an impact on the customers in the desired way. These funny signs are normally put up in order to incorporate humor and wit amongst people. The companies advertising through funny signs need to ensure that their comments are plain and safe humor. Companies should take care that they do not display or remark any such controversial discourse, which would hurt the sentiments of any sections of the society. Equilibrium has to be maintained concerning the signs being funny and witty. They should not cross the morality boundaries laid down by the social order. Funny Signs

Places to See in Jodhpur

Places to See in Jodhpur Jodhpur is one of the favorite cities of the princely state of Rajasthan. The city is settled at the fringes of the Thar Desert and was founded by the chief of the Rathore clan named Rao Jodha in the year 1459. The Rathores claimed to be the direct descendants of lord Rama. The kingdom under the rule of the Rathores was known as the 'marwar' or the land of the death. The city has a strong base of defense contingent has it is one of the closest cities settled close to the border of Pakistan. The city is also known as the 'blue city' as most of the houses are of the indigo color. The following are some absorbing places to see in the Jodhpur city.

Some absorbing Places to See in Jodhpur Mehrangar Fort - The historic fort bears the testimony of the chivalrous Rajputs. The fort is regarded as one of the exquisite and formidable forts in India. It covers the whole area of a hill of 125 meters high. A winding road leads from the city to the fort. The fort has seven entry doors. The second door still has the marks of cannon balls that hit while the time of wars. Maharaja Man Singh built the Jayapol in the year 1806 after conquering Jaipur and Bikaner. The victory gate or the Fatehpol was built by the Maharaja Ajit Singh as a testimony of defeating the distinguished Mughals. The fort holds gorgeous courtyards and palaces like the Sukh Mahal, Moti Mahal, Phool Mahal and Sheesh Mahal. On the southern part of the fort there is the Chamunda Devi temple. Jaswant Thada - This structure is built as a memorial of Maharaja Jaswant Singh Ii made up of white marble. It is close to the Mehrangar fort and was built in the year 1899. The cenotaph is noted for its fine lattice or jali work of marble and overwhelming view of the city from its terraces. Umaid Bhawan Palace & Museum - Since the palace is made up of the local chittar type of sandstone, it is also popularly known as the Chhittar Palace. The building has been decorated with white marble and pink sandstone. It was designed by the president of the British Royal establish of Architects. This magnificent palace is run by the descendants of the erstwhile rulers. The part of the palace is now turned as luxurious hotel while the remaining part as museum. There are several absorbing places near Jodhpur that are worth for an absorbing excursion. Places to See in Jodhpur

7 coarse Places Where Bacteria Flourish

7 coarse Places Where Bacteria Flourish We all know that bacteria can flourish just about anywhere. Most of us are assuredly good about holding the bathroom and the kitchen free from of any germs and other little organisms. However, there are some other places where these tiny little bacteria like to hide and multiply. In this record I will spin seven common places where germs flourish.

Makeup. How many times have you touched your makeup cases and how many times have you cleaned it? Most of us never wipe down our makeup cases, let alone replace items every three moths (as you should be!). Cell phone. Everything you touch gets transferred into your cell phone. The phone later touches your faces and comes in close sense with your lips. Make sure to wipe it down with an antibacterial wipe once a day. Handbag. Think of all the places you put your bag, the floor, public bathrooms, etc. Clean your bag at least once a week. Lemon slices. The next time you are dining out, ask for water without the lemon. These lemons have been touched a lot! Vacuum cleaner. Although this tool helps safe your house from germs, it also gathers the bacteria inside! Buy a vacuum with a disposable bag which can be assuredly removed. Contact les case. Never rinse your lens case with water, use the recommended solution. And when wearing your lenses, let your case air dry. Laundry. There are 100 million E. Coli bacteria in an median load of underwear. Be sure to use hot water when washing underwear and put them in the dryer for at least 45 minutes. These are the seven common places where bacteria flourish. There are many things colse to the house which sway your health. Foods can sway your weight and germs can sway your wellbeing. If you suffer from weight issues you can try all natural diet pills. 7 coarse Places Where Bacteria Flourish

5 Places For Girls to Get Sexy Tattoos

5 Places For Girls to Get Sexy Tattoos If you are thinking of getting a tattoo, it is a decision to make carefully. Once you put a tattoo on, it is a permanent commitment. Sure, there is laser discharge if you actually conclude you don't want the tattoo, but that is painful, high-priced and doesn't completely do the trick. So, before you conclude to put a tattoo on your body make sure you determined think where to put it. As a woman, you want to come up with a sexy location for that tattoo. Here are the top 5 sexy spots to have a tattoo:

On Your Hip - The hip is a great place to place that tattoo if you want it to be sexy. In the middle of low rider jeans, that will show off a little bit of your tat, to bikini weather, which will actually show it off, it will draw all eyes to it and get the attentiveness of any guy in the area. Tailbone - The tailbone is a excellent place for a sexy tattoo. This will actually show off when you lean up to get a drink and everybody gets a small peek of the tattoo. They will be chomping at a bit wanting to see the rest of it. Just Above the Pubic Area - There is not much more sexy than a tattoo just above the pubic area. It is a site of intrigue and interest of every man who sees it, a tease, if you will, of what else may be hidden. Belly Button - With cut off shirts and belly rings being so popular, it's a no-brainer that belly button tattoos are a sexy way to accessorize. It is an automated piece of 'jewelry' that is all the time in place on your body and getting attention. Ankle - While most men can't say why, they will all admit looking a little something on the ankle of a woman is very sexy. 5 Places For Girls to Get Sexy Tattoos

Funny Business Slogans Are Sticky Business Slogans

Funny Business Slogans Are Sticky Business Slogans Even if you're not a professional marketing person chances are you're more of an expert on advertising than you think. After all, you have been bombarded by ads your entire life via every medium known to man. For this reason, if you're a small business owner about to search for and select a business slogan for your company, take a week and attempt to come up with one yourself before you spend money on the services of an expensive copywriter or advertising firm. It only takes one inspired moment to come up with a phrase that will work on all of your marketing materials and advertising campaigns, for years to come. Why not aim for a funny business slogan to accomplish this? Humor is one of the best ways to grab people, momentarily disarm them and defuse the barriers we all put up against advertising generally. It's an advertising heist, and you only need to steal their attention for a moment.

One way to come up with funny business slogans is to gather a list of famous ones you have heard over the years, for inspiration. It can be instructive to see what has worked in million-dollar advertising campaigns, as shown by what still lingers in your mind even decades after a given ad or a television commercial stopped running. For example, remember the elderly lady in the Wendy's commercial from years ago? "Where's the beef?" she would bellow, and the message was clear for a company that wanted to emphasize quality in its offerings as compared to the competition. The reason the slogan worked was because the initial hilarity of it demanded that you understood its context, and by the time you did it had made the desired impression upon you. This slogan went "viral" before the term even existed. It gained a foothold in the general public consciousness for years and you can't, as they say, buy publicity like that. Another enormously successful ad campaigns in the 1970s was the Alka-Seltzer TV commercial where the man with indigestion painfully intones "I can't believe I ate the whole thing!" It was another bit of genius marketing that could not fail to leave you smiling, and it also went quickly into the catchy, well-known phrases of the time. So where does this leave you, the small business owner today? If you can come up with a funny business slogan that people cannot ignore, even for the four or five seconds it takes to read or hear it, you can create an indelible impression upon members of the general public that have never heard of your business. What both of these examples show is that you can appropriate a phrase that already exists and bend it for usage in an amusing way for your company. You have a tree trimming business? "We go out on a limb for you." You want to advertise your optometry business? "You should see what you're missing." The point is that you can recycle existing tag lines, and even if the pun or wordplay is not falling-down funny, it is clever enough to temporarily grab the attention of people listen to the radio or driving by your sign. Have lunch with a couple of witty friends of yours and I'll bet you could come up with a short list of half a dozen really engaging, funny business slogans. Then the fun begins. I would suggest running a Google AdWords campaign to determine with scientific precision what phrases best grab attention. The point here is that you may very well have the ability to dream up your own effective business tagline. Give it a shot: there is a business for every slogan. Funny Business Slogans Are Sticky Business Slogans

Top Places to Visit in India For a excellent Holiday

Top Places to Visit in India For a excellent Holiday India is quite fortunate in this regard as it has some of the best places which are determined to be the best to know about the antique cultures. That is one of the reasons that Unesco has declared few of the places as the world heritage sites. Although, there are a lot of things and places that are to be visited in practically all of the states, however, there are some places which you must never miss, especially in your first visit.

The first and the foremost place is Taj Mahal. It is the place that is sublime all nearby the world and it has now come to be a thing of recognition for India. However, one thing that is worth mentioning is that it will be a thoroughly separate contact to visit Taj Mahal, rather than just to read or hear about it. The attractiveness is terrific and the architectural style which is used in construction this masterpiece is nothing less than glorious. It is because of this breathtaking architecture that it has been the top tourist spot in India. Actually, the people who come to India don't know much about other places, but one place that they all the time s know is Taj Mahal. So, don't miss this piece of breathtaking workmanship in your first visit. The other best thing is the palaces of Rajasthan. Rajasthan is the place where you will come over an breathtaking culture. Traditions which are kept alive by the people of Rajasthan are surely something to watch for. However, the most breathtaking thing about Rajasthan is its reserved supply of historical places. Palaces of Rajasthan are surely breathtaking and they tell you all about the culture that is still prevailing in this part of the country. If beaches are at your priority, then the best place to spend your holidays is Goa. Goa is one of those places that have all of the ingredients of making your holiday a perfect one. When you will be in Goa, don't forget to take part in Goa Carnival as here you will be able to eye the best composition of dance, music and food. In your visit to India, don't forget to pay a visit to Kerala. Kerala is a place that requires a good whole of time to get fully explored. Actually, there are a lot of things, in fact; all of the things which are in Kerala are spellbinding. If you are visiting India for the first time, then Kerala is the place that will teach you a lot about the core India culture. As a whole, you can find a lot of places in India where you can spend a perfect holiday; however, it will depend on you as what are the criteria for you to judge the perfect holiday. Top Places to Visit in India For a excellent Holiday

Be Remembered With a Funny Email Address

Be Remembered With a Funny Email Address Wouldn't you love a funny email address? How many email addresses do you have in your contact list? Probably hundreds, but how many of them can you remember off by heart? Probably none but why is that?

Email is the most convenient and common form of written communication in the world and yet we seem to have absolutely no imagination when it comes to creating our address. Why is this? My theory is that we think of our email address a bit like our home address - plain, dull, boring and something you just get stuck with because you happen to buy a house in Bland Street. Well it doesn't have to be like that. The Internet gives you power to let your imagination run wild, so why not create a funny email address that your friends and family will always remember with a smile! A personalized email address should be an extension of you, your personality, your sense of humour or something that people always remember about you. Here are a couple of examples to get you thinking. What about Sharon (at) shoefettish (dot) net or perhaps David (at) ilovefishing (dot) com. Just imagine how easy it will be for your family and friends to contact you if they don't have to look up your boring email address. Think about your friends off on holiday interstate - they've landed an extra ticket to the Football Grand Final and need someone who can jump on a plane quickly. Their mobile is flat so they duck into an Internet cafe but they can't access their contact address book. Luckily your address springs to mind for all the obvious reasons - so you get the email and you're on a plane before the return email reaches them. Of course your funny email id also comes in handy whenever you need someone to remember how to get in contact with you. Let's face it, no one remembers mobile phone numbers. Contact details scribbled on the backs of drink coasters can easily get lost and the woman of your dreams might slip out of your world all because of a stupid bit of paper. Humour on the other hand is a perfect memory aid. If something is funny we remember it. Think about your favourite movie, the bits you remember are usually the bits that made you laugh the loudest. A funny email address will not only tickle her funny bone but she'll remember you and how to get in contact. Don't let your personality get lost in your boring email address. After all, your email is personal, it's yours. So why not create a funny email address that gets you noticed and remembered. With billions of people in the world we need to find every possible way to stand out. You don't need to know everyone, but you do want to be remembered by those that matter to you the most. A funny email address will make sure your family and friends will never forget you and leave you out of the loop. Be Remembered With a Funny Email Address

Funny Quotes and Quotes Pictures - Your Stress Busters

Funny Quotes and Quotes Pictures - Your Stress Busters Are you stressed out due to work pressure or due to your family? Do you need a daily laughter? Have you ever tried searching for funny stupid, humorous, silly quotes?

Reading quotes is one of the best ways to be happy. It acts as a stress buster and helps you release your daily tensions. These quotes or sayings are becoming increasingly popular day by day because of this only. Everyday millions of people search for funny stuff on the internet. This trend is increasing day by day because the world is now gripped with stresses. Not only old, but now teens are also so much stressed out that the rate of crime is increasing at an alarming pace. So what is the solution to curb this increasing stress menace? If we see internet statistics, jokes, quote and sayings, funny pictures rank among top 50 searched items. So the best way to be happy is to spend 5-10 minutes per day reading jokes, quotes or seeing funny pictures. But now the other problem also arises, i.e. internet is filled with so much stuff which parents don't want the children to see. So if you are worried about safe sites for your children then stop worrying about it. I am going to tell you how you can enjoy with clean jokes and pictures on internet. The very first way is to use strict control on search engines. Google offers a strict moderate or no filter option. Keep it strict and save your preferences. Moreover you should narrow your search to specific keywords. Writing just jokes will fetch you millions of results but those would be not safe for all children. Instead search for clean jokes or jokes for children and enjoy those jokes, pictures with family. I will conclude it with few quotes Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. - Maryon Pearson When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half. - Gracie Allen The safest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your pocket. - Kin Hubbard Happiness is the china shop; love is the bull. - H. L. Mencken Funny Quotes and Quotes Pictures - Your Stress Busters

5 Places to Buy Girl's Emo Clothing

5 Places to Buy Girl's Emo Clothing With a microscopic bit of imagination, you can buy girls emo clothing roughly anywhere. In style fashion these days for emo females has gotten pretty basic. However, there are some emo girls who prefer to go for the more stand-out-ish emo style.

For those girls, the estimate one place I'd recommend is Hot Topics. You naturally can't beat the collection of dissimilar alternative style wear that they offer, and emo is certainly a crowd that they cater to. You can find a collection of dissimilar brands and styles, from the very beloved Hello Kitty line to movie promotional gear and even plain ol' flannel shirts. For skinny jeans, I recommend Old Navy. Probably not where you were thinking, but I recommend them specifically because they cater to all shapes and sizes. Sometimes it's hard for bigger girls to find skinny jeans. And aside from Torrid, Old Navy is the only place I know that has them, and the price is far more reasonable than Torrid. If you want to go towards the cheaper end of things, you can all the time check out your local thrift shop for girls emo clothing. That's commonly a hit and miss endeavor. One tip to knowing when you'll have the best chance of seeing some good stuff at thrift shop is to ask them when they put out new items. You can also occasionally find some really good girls emo clothing at Walmart. Their juniors branch typically tries to cater to what's in style, and emo clothing hasn't made its way out the door yet. Needless to say, Walmart prices are roughly all the time reasonable. There's some fuel for your fire. Either you have big bucks to spend on your wardrobe or you're trying to pinch pennies, you should be able to use some of these ideas to put together an esthetically challenging emo wardrobe. Happy shopping! 5 Places to Buy Girl's Emo Clothing

Three Good Reasons to Memorize Funny Quotes

Three Good Reasons to Memorize Funny Quotes You should memorize funny quotes. You should memorize thousands of them. Ok if not thousand, you can memorize at least hundred. That can be easily achieved if you learn four quotes in a day. That would be equals to one hundred twenty quotes in a month and fourteen hundred forty quotes in a year. But why do I memorize them. Here are the reasons.

1- To get Hi Hi's Ha Ha's By memorizing funny quotes, you can get Hi Hi's Ha Ha's any time you want. Whether you are sitting on toilet pooping or peeing, whether you getting bored listening your parents boring pep-talk, you can mumble them anytime anywhere you want which in turn gives you Hi Hi Hi's Ha Ha Ha's anytime anywhere you want. 2- To Impress brother and their sisters You can easily impress brothers and their sisters. Every now and then inject some funny quotes in your conversation to appropriate situation, of course. This will make you come across as a very humorous and funny person. This brings me to the to the third reason. 3- To develop your Sense of humor A good sense of humor is all about putting funny lines and jokes into every conversation you have wit your friends, family and relatives. It's also about looking at the humorous sides of every situation be it good or bad. Memorizing some funny quotes helps you develop your sense of humor, as you have plenty of funny lines to throw into your conversation. Three Good Reasons to Memorize Funny Quotes

Funny Top Ten Lists and the Female Sense of Humor

Funny Top Ten Lists and the Female Sense of Humor Most attempts to explain the nature of the female sense of humor have focused upon two closely related questions: How does a woman's sense of humor differ from that of a man? And secondly, what topics do women find funny?

There is a general consensus that the answers are as follows: Men enjoy a brand of humor that relies upon insensitive put downs and insults to make fun of other people with whom they do not closely identify. Women, on the other hand, prefer humorous descriptions of situations in which they can easily see themselves. They enjoy humor that says, we've all been there and done that. Weren't we an absolute hoot? The serious side of humor. Unfortunately, this traditional focus upon finding out exactly what makes women laugh has caused us to overlook the fact that humor actually serves a much higher purpose in our lives: Namely, finding a suitable mate! In order to more fully understand the ways in which humor operates between the sexes, we must pay more attention to the fact that humor has always been one of the most important tools that women use to evaluate the desirability of potential mates. Once we open our minds to this "higher function" of humor, it becomes clear that we are much more likely to discover the truth about the female sense of humor by studying anthropology, rather than comedy. The all-female detective agency. Women try to avoid men who debase and objectify women, or merely want to use them for recreational sex. Fortunately, they can obtain valuable clues about such tendencies by evaluating a man's sense of humor, which serves as the proverbial "window to his soul." Whenever we watch men and women interacting socially, the men are constantly making humorous remarks, and the women are encouraging them, by responding with gales of laughter. Not surprisingly, there is a large body of scientific evidence which proves what we intuitively suspect from such observations: Women are the choosier sex, and because they strongly prefer funny men, the male of the species has learned to use his sense of humor to successfully compete with other men for female attention. What is it about a good sense of humor that makes it so desirable to women? It's a reliable sign of higher intelligence. Millions of years of evolution have taught women that an intelligent man is more likely to successfully compete against other men for the resources that are needed to support a wife and children. Plus, he will pass on his intelligent genes to their children, who will share in the enormous advantages of superior intelligence. Never mess with Mother Nature. Because we have consistently failed to recognize the subtle ways in which humor operates between the sexes, women have unjustifiably developed a reputation for lacking a sense of humor. Yet the simple fact is that it has never been a woman's job to be funny! Mother Nature wisely gave women the task of evaluating humor; not initiating it. She also arranged things so that every society would place a great deal of pressure on women to avoid engaging in any behavior that is normally associated with the opposite sex. Therefore, a woman who tries to be funny can get into trouble in two ways: First, she is engaging in unnatural, and hence forbidden, male behavior. And secondly, if she is perceived to be funnier (smarter) than the men around her, she is likely to be viewed as a threat by many of those men. It should come as no great surprise that a funny, witty female makes both men and women uncomfortable. They instinctively sense that by being funny, she is violating one of nature's unwritten, yet rather strictly enforced, rules. Making a list and checking it twice. All of this information about the female sense of humor can be directly applied to funny top ten lists. It has long been believed that funny top ten lists are designed for, and primarily enjoyed by, a male audience. The reasoning goes like this: funny top ten lists have a format which consists of a headline (the set up), followed by ten punch lines. Since men love one-liners, and women prefer stories about familiar experiences, humorous top ten lists are the ideal format for males. That line of reasoning is undoubtedly true; as far as it goes. It just doesn't go far enough. That's because there is another way to view humorous top ten lists: the headline is the title of a familiar story which just happens to be told in ten short chapters. By exerting a little extra care and effort, the female sense of humor can usually be successfully accommodated in funny top ten lists. The key is to make sure that we are sensitive to the importance of using gender appropriate humor and themes in all of our lists. Copyright 2009. Funniest Top Ten Lists. All rights reserved. Funny Top Ten Lists and the Female Sense of Humor

Funny Halloween Costume Ideas - Tickle Your Funny Bones

Funny Halloween Costume Ideas - Tickle Your Funny Bones Too tired of the usual and boring ghosts, zombies, mummies, witches, and vampires or the very colorful fairies, princesses, and angels? Do you want to be something creative that can elicit unanimous laughter from friends because of your ingenuity? There is one answer: try to be funny!

Halloween costumes don't always need to be scary and spooky. They can also be funny, crazy, and hilarious. Funny Halloween costumes do not always mean that you should dress up as a clown or as a jester. Funny costumes can be ordinary things that one would not normally think to turn into a Halloween costume like a Christmas tree, a bowling pin, or a night stand (and call it "One Night Stand"). Here are some ideas for humorous costumes you can dress up as come October 31st. Funny costumes for infants and kids If the child has red hair, dress him as a carrot complete with the green stem on top of his or her head and then call them "carrot top". Or dress him up in a baby bunting or baby sleeping bag with the Sugar Babies logo written on the front, and voila! He's become one sweet baby! Other costume ideas for infants and kids are a baby giant banana, a hotdog, a loaf of Wonder Bread, a Tootsie Roll, and a red hot chili pepper. Other cute and funny costumes are penguins, a little monkey, or a bumblebee. Funny costumes for adults There's also a wide array of funny costume ideas for adults. They can be hilarious costumes with clean humor or with sexual innuendos. Funny costumes with sexual innuendos are most popular with adults, especially at adult Halloween costume parties. Some costume ideas with clean humor are Dumb and Dumber, Adam and Eve (complete with a skin-tone body suit and leaves covering your private parts), Ken, a blind referee, Betty and Veronica, a midget rocker, Olive Oyl, a maxed out credit card, a fat guitar-playing Mexican dude, a 70s disco king or queen, a giant hotdog, or a big daddy pimp with lots of bling-bling. Another surefire idea that will get laughs from your peers on Halloween is cross-dressing. If you're a male, try dressing up as a female character. Get a bunch of your male buddies and dress up as a male cheerleading squad. If you would rather go solo, dress up as a tooth fairy, Britney Spears or Paris Hilton. You can also dress up as Snow White and bring little stuffed toys as your seven dwarves. A cross-dressing French maid or a Hooters waitress with ridiculously big boobs can also do the funny trick. Females can also dress up as male superheroes to get that funny effect. Dress up as Superman complete with exaggerated biceps and muscles or a female version of Austin Powers with the famous accent and "Yeah, baby!" Other popular funny Halloween costumes that lean toward the naughty side are a pack of condoms, a medieval knight with his bits hanging outside his breeches, a flasher, and a plug and socket. Funny Halloween Costume Ideas - Tickle Your Funny Bones

10 Great Places to Visit in Alabama

10 Great Places to Visit in Alabama Alabama's nickname is the "Heart of Dixie" and when you visit it is easy to see why. Places to visit in Alabama will charm you and the area will amaze you with the number of things to see.

#1 The location is Mobile, Alabama and Battleship Memorial Park. This is where visitors can see the Uss Alabama, a battleship and the Uss Drum, a submarine as well as a whole host of other aircraft and tanks. #2 Places to visit in Alabama include DeSoto Caverns Park. This is the largest cave in the state of Alabama and it stands 12 stories. Within the park, there are rides, attractions and activities galore. The park is listed on Oprah's site as a Wacky house Attraction. #3 For race enthusiasts the International Motorsports Hall of Fame Museum is located in Talladega. It is the home of the Budweiser rocket car, which was the first auto to break the speed of sound. Of course, the Talladega Super Speedway is located here and is the place to be when there is a race. #4 Dothan is a peanut city. They grow most of the area's peanuts and this is a big industry in this area. Not far from the Florida state line, the city has a Peanut Festival in November while which many big name performers are featured. #5 When checking out the places to visit in Alabama, Dauphin Island is one that should be on your list. With gorgeous beaches that rival even the beaches of Florida, you will find many attractions here. Dauphin Island Sea Lab is the place to go if you want to see octopus, seahorses, horseshoe crabs and more. #6 Most citizen have never heard of Shorter, Alabama but if you are in the mood to hit the casino, this is one of the spots you can do so. The Victory Land Casino and Oasis Hotel await your arrival. The casino has 24 hour gaming and in expanding there is also dog racing and horse racing simulcast. #7 If your tour of places to visit in Alabama takes you near the town of Bridgeport, you will want to stop at Russell Cave. This was the home of prehistoric man over 10,000 years ago. See how these early inhabitants lived and the tools they used. #8 Gantts Quarry is a place you cannot miss. This is an old ghost town and a quarry. The rest and relaxation are what most citizen come here for although it is the only place where a person was as a matter of fact hit by a falling object from space. #9 Old Alabama Town in Montgomery is a trip back in time. Six blocks are set up with over 40 buildings that have been restored including an old time tavern and a drug store. The buildings are from the 1800s and there are some homes among them. Many of the homes had slave's quarters and kitchens detach from the main house. #10 If you want to perceive staying in a cabin in the woods, Gulf Shores, Alabama is the place to go. Gulf State Park has cabin rentals; some are on the water and some are in the forest. You may be in the wilderness but you are only a short length from movable and Birmingham. 10 Great Places to Visit in Alabama

Places to Share Your Funny Quotes & Sayings

Places to Share Your Funny Quotes & Sayings One of the best things about having the ability to represent your own line of jokes is to present them in front of your friends. Believe it or not this kind of thing can enhance happiness in your life in the spotlight of those you enjoy being around. To get away from all the agony day to day life friends come together and make up all types of goofy things just to enjoy life itself. If you plan on putting together a party then it would not hurt to have your friends over to uplift the spirit of laughter within your home by doing a little stand up. This alone releases the intense stress of being bottled up as an individual while loosening up the crowd.

I have become a sort of social networking junkie over the past year and have noticed that people online really do love sayings that are really funny. So I have taken it upon myself to send out a couple of quotes that are funny to my friends online. There are times that I might even write on a couple walls if I feel that a particular person might need that daily uplift that everyone talks about. This was not only a way to help others because it also shows my work and how creative I could be. Facebook is a good way to express your creativity in so many ways that people would flop to you asking for more jokes. Try bringing the spirits of jokes to your work place or office. I am definitely not telling you to goof off at work however you can still enjoy being around your fellow employees by bringing some of those laughable sayings with you on lunch. I do not care where you put your foot at in the morning or night when you are around a crowd people love a good joke and in many cases it sparks humble conversations that could lead to forever lasting friendship. Take about 5 minutes in a day to think about what makes you happy and in some cases what makes you sad. Emotion plays a big role in recovering a quality joke that is not harmless and even outrageous if you go all out on humorous sayings. Places to Share Your Funny Quotes & Sayings

Feng Shui Your Desk For Career Success

Feng Shui Your Desk For Career Success Have you used feng shui around your desk? It's a great way to "test drive" feng shui, to see how well it works for you.

In feng shui, we work with a 3x3 grid called a bagua (said "bagg-wahh"). The grid is placed over your floorplan, and can look like a tic-tac-toe board, or perhaps the face of a clock, seen from above. With this, we can organize any room, home, or office into areas, each with its own color and design themes. So, let's pretend you have Superman's x-ray eyes, and you're flying over your home or office, looking down into it. And, let's pretend that you can see the bagua grid that's overlayed onto your floor plan. Starting clockwise from your left--about the "eight o'clock" area of the clock--the design themes are: Knowledge, Family/Security, Money, Fame, Romance, Creativity, Helpful People and Travel, and finally your Career. At the center of the clock--the middle of the bagua grid--the theme is Health. You can apply these same design principles to your desk, too. In fact, when you're new to feng shui, this can be a great way to begin. You'll soon have a better organized work area, and perhaps a little "feng shui magic" will boost your career as well. Sit at your desk, and start at the left side. In feng shui, this is the Knowledge area. It's an ideal place to store your reference books, such as your dictionary, manuals, and anything else you often reach for when you're working. If you have a counter or bookcase to the left of your desk, the top may be the perfect place for symbols of Family (family photos) and Security (anything that says "old money" to you). The back left corner of your desk is the Money area. Whether your monitor is there or something else, be sure to keep this corner clean, dust-free, and uncluttered. If there's space in back of your monitor for photos or posters, this is the perfect place for pictures of what you plan to do (or own) when you have an even better income. At the back center area of your desk, or on the wall directly in front of you, take advantage of this Fame area. Display awards, diplomas, certificates, and anything that tells others about your accomplishments. Add a little red--the best color for this area--to draw attention to your new display. At the right corner of your desk, and on the wall behind it, the focus is Romance. This is where you'll place photos of your sweetie, or symbols of love and partnerships. If you have flowers or pens at this area of your workspace, remember: Everything in twos... no "onesies"! (Of course, if you're hoping for a date this weekend, put two fresh flowers in a vase in this area. But, be prepared: This might work even better than you'd expected.) Closer to you on the right, it's your Creativity area. Be sure to keep symbols of what you do that's original, as well as tools for creating things at work. Whether this is a stapler or a set of pens and paintbrushes, the emphasis should be on creativity. And, if you're a fan of Disney or other cartoons, those figures and pictures go in this area. (If you have children, this is the perfect place for pictures of your little darlings, too.) At your immediate and front right, it's the Helpful People and Travel area. This is where you'll put your Rolodex or Palm, or whatever you use to store names & phone numbers. This is also a good place to display vacation-related items and pictures. And, the center of your desk is the Health area. If you want a healthy career, your work area should be clean & "happy looking" at the center. With spring on the way, consider a new blotter or other desktop covering in sunny yellow; that's the best color for the Health area. Finally, your chair represents your Career area. Keep your chair well-oiled (if it's on wheels or springs) and clean. Polish any chrome on it, and keep it dusted. If you're on any kind of mat that protects the floor underneath, make sure that your mat looks fresh and new. If it doesn't, a replacement may be a small expense for the potential benefits. Or, sometimes a little floor polish will renew a plastic floor mat and make it look "like new". Feng Shui Your Desk For Career Success

Some Ideas For Baby Shower Scrapbooking Layouts

Some Ideas For Baby Shower Scrapbooking Layouts It's no wonder that most mothers are on the hunt for unique and original baby shower scrapbooking layouts, since a baby shower is probably one of the many memorable moments she'll want to capture during her pregnancy. All those cute presents and all the friends and relative that gather should be remembered and some baby shower scrapbooking layouts can be just the thing for that!

Of course there are many different paper packs and templates that a person can purchase when it comes to commemorating a baby shower. Many scrapbook companies put together pages that are set with frames for photos, cute sayings, and everything you need to make a baby scrapbook page. If you're new to scrapbooking or aren't creatively gifted then these baby shower scrapbooking layouts can be the right thing for you. All that's needed are those pictures! But some people aren't interested in having their pages already designed for them but still are a bit overwhelmed with what to do when it comes to making up their own baby shower scrapbooking layouts. One thing to keep in mind is that while many use the colors of pink and blue for their pages you can get past this and use colors that you like. Strong colors of autumn such as chocolate brown, rusty red, and warm yellow are favorites for many women when it comes to baby shower scrapbooking layouts. One reason for this is that these colors are somewhat neutral and a bit easier on the eyes than strong blues, but aren't as washed out as pink can sometime seem. You might also try these same colors but in primary shades, meaning red, blue and yellow. Usually baby toys are tinted with primary colors so this can really be appropriate for baby shower scrapbooking layouts. Get creative with the wording and the fonts you use. Many opt for "childish" fonts that resemble the writing of a child but there's no need to do this if you prefer something more elegant or something simpler. You can put the child's name or a simple phrase such as "Baby Boy" or "Baby Girl" across the top of any baby shower scrapbooking layouts and some simple wording underneath in a smaller font for a nice touch. And remember that you don't need to work the word "baby" into your layouts - try words like Love, Welcome, Family, and Cherished. Some Ideas For Baby Shower Scrapbooking Layouts

Non-Traditional Newborn Baby Basket Ideas

Baby gift baskets are often given to express the sender's happiness for the birth of a new baby. The intent of the gift is to share their job and provide useful items. Often times, the needs of the baby are considered first, before the needs of the parents. This could be considered antithetical to the entire premise of the occasion which is the celebration of life. The parents are the beneficiaries of the event, while the baby is simply an unwitting accomplice.

To this end, gift basket senders should select their gift carefully and ensure that they provide the utmost consideration to the true intended recipient - the parents! Most baby gift baskets are devoid of food product due to the fact that a baby cannot eat solid food. Traditional contents include cotton sleepers, jumpers, onsies, twosies, receiving blankets, wash clothes as well as baby care products such as baby oil, ointment cream, dusting powder and baby shampoo. These items are all necessary products that will be in great demand in the coming weeks and months. It is very likely that these items have already been purchased by the parents. A baby's new room is often setup months in advance in anticipation of the expected due date. A baby's change table is filled with all the necessities needed to ensure baby is kept soft and dry. So what is usually forgotten? Mom and dad! Their needs are often the least appreciated. If they are lucky, Grandma has stocked the freezer full of frozen dinners, ready to eat with the help of a microwave. In fact, food products are usually left entirely up to grandparents to supply. The physical and mental health of mom and dad should be a major priority. After all, the better mom and dad feel, the better cared for is baby! A gourmet gift basket or spa gift basket can be a nice surprise when all other gifts are geared towards the baby. The option to pluck out a box of addictive cinnamon cashews to snack on weeks after all the excitement has died down can be a life saver when faced with another 3am feeding. The availability of soothing bath salts to add to a warm bath while a relaxing eye mask refreshes tired eyes when the baby finally falls asleep can seem like a heavenly event that was worth waiting for. It is still important to ensure that whatever the gift basket contains, the intent of the gift is remembered and the joyous occasion is acknowledged. A cleverly worded gift card can ensure mom and dad know that regardless of who directly benefits from the gift, your primary motive for sending it obvious - to share the joy and happiness at a very special time in the recipient's life.

Words For Thank You Notes - Thoughtful Words to Express Your Thanks

It's highly important that you choose the best words for thank you notes. After all, you want to let people know how much you appreciate what they have done or given you. A simple thank you isn't going to cut it anymore.

Choosing words for thank you notes isn't that hard. You can be as creative as you want to be, depending on the person you intend to send the message to. If you have a couple of thank you notes to send, here are some words you might find useful. 1) I can never thank you enough... But I'll try! Thank you so much! This one is more lighthearted and is perfect if you're writing to someone who did you a favor. It's simple, sincere and a funny enough to be considered memorable. Sometimes, the best words for thank you notes are the simplest. But don't just stop at saying thank you though! 2) Thank you for this gift, and for the gift of knowing you. People like to know that they're appreciated. If someone sends you a gift, this line would probably be the best. It takes away all the materialism of the actual present and instead highlights the more meaningful side of gift giving. 3) I'll think of you every time I use it. If you happen to receive presents that aren't exactly to your liking, you should use these words for your thank you notes. It's still the truth, but you phrased it a little differently so as not to hurt anybody's feelings. Choosing the best words for thank you notes can be a bit daunting at first, especially when you have to write so many. However, with the sample listed above, I hope that you'll be able to add more meaning to your notes rather than just a common thank you.

How Hot Is It? - 10 Funny Ways to Tell How Hot it Really Is

Well, the dog days of summer are here, but even some dogs don't believe it. I've had several of them come up to me and say, "Hey, what's up with the heat?" I don't know. I don't usually talk about the weather, unless there's nothing else to talk about.

Have you ever been on the phone with someone for a while and all of a sudden they start talking about the weather? That's a sure sign that your conversation is coming to an end. Sometimes it's a blessing, because you really have had enough of hearing about this person's gall bladder operation. So, hearing about how the tornado ripped off their roof, is almost refreshing. But, it is hot out there and this brought to mind a classic bit of comedy that Johnny Carson, of The Tonight Show fame, used to do. In his opening monologue, he would say something like, "Boy, was it cold today." And the audience would yell out, almost in unison, "How cold was it?" And Johnny would smile, because he knew he got the audience to help him set up his joke. Then he would come up with something like, "It was so cold out, I leaned against my car and broke my pants." Laughter ensued. So, with that in mind, and in honor of a comedy legend, here are ten responses Johnny might have answered to the audience if he had said, "Boy, is it hot out there." And the audience would respond with, "How hot is it?" Johnny would then say, "Why, it's so hot... 1. Not only can you fry an egg on the sidewalk, but you can toast the English muffin, too. 2. Your Odor Eaters have sent up a white flag. 3. Amy Winehouse was seen drinking antifreeze. 4. The greyhound, on the side of the bus, is carrying a bottle of Gatorade. 5. At the beach, you can get sunburned underwater. 6. The onion rings you have under your arm aren't from Burger King. 7. Fire ants are carrying personal fans. 8. Your GPS keeps directing you to drive to Canada. 9. A-Rod has dropped his crush on Madonna and started dating the Good Humor man. 10. The hardware store is selling thermometers with readings of Fahrenheit, Celsius and Holy Crap!" No matter how you spell it, the heat is on (Glen Frey 1985). So, thank you, Johnny, for all the laughs. You are dearly missed.

Speech Introduction: How to Write a Speech Introduction

A speech introduction has one main goal: to focus the attention on your central idea by making a clear statement and previewing your main ideas. Write the introduction part of your persuasive speech after you have finished your thesis statement and the supporting points and arguments. Only than you are able to summarize the thesis in one attention grabbing sentence.

The goals of an speech introduction are: introduce your topic, yourself and the purpose of your speech. Make them want to hear the rest of your speech. 1. A good speech introduction is the same as making a good first impression. So, greet you audience and hosts, look at them, take a breath and then immediately catch the attention with a smashing oneliner. That first line contains your claim or assertion. Examples of speech openers: Ask a thought-provoking rhetorical question and directly answer it with your claim. State an amazing fact or statistic they probably never have heard of. Offer a stirring example. Cite a quotation or funny remark that describes the situation you are going to talk about. Make an very controversial statement. Tell a compelling anecdote nobody knows. Give a definition of an expert to enhance credibility. But be creative in defining your ideas. If you are dealing with demonstration speech topics then show the object of you speech. 2. State the thesis or central idea. Draw the contours of the topic in a few direct and clear sentences. Help your public to fully understand the context. 3. Tell why the issue is worthwhile to think about. 4. Introduce and preview your main supporting points, view and ideas in one short sentence each. 5. Tell why they have to know the in's and out's. Tell how the speech topic idea relates to the the needs and interests of the audience. 6. List a major benefit. 7. Now that you have told you message and aroused interest, it's time to establish your credibility. Introduce yourself and your background expertise in one or two sentences. State how the theme relates to you, by showing your enthusiasm or expertise. Then use a transition sentence to head for the body part and the main supporting points of your persuasive speech topics. The length of the introduction paragraph has to be in balance with the total length of your speech. If you talk for let's say two or three minutes, then don't write an extended speech introduction.

Funny Bathroom Signs

Bathroom signs are most common in public places, but there's a lot of fun that individuals can have by looking for funny bathroom signs. These aren't just for freshmen guys in college: these can be used at home to illustrate a quirky sense of humor, or even by a small business like a restaurant or bar that wants something a little beyond the ordinary. There's an entire industry built around the making of bathroom signs, whether normal, funny, or customized.

First and foremost, bathroom signs still have to be functional. You need to know which door is the men's room and which door is the ladies room. Without a clear distinction, this could cause a lot of troubles. If you're looking at a joke sign that is meant for wall decoration, then this isn't nearly so big an issue. There are plenty of bathroom signs that are specifically designed to make fun of men and their aim (or lack there of). This would be an example where the entire sign was a gag gift. There are even individual signs for urinals that fit this mold. As long as the sign is functional so you know if a bathroom is male, female, or unisex then the rest is cake. What type of sense of humor do you have? Are you looking for something cute, or kind of raunchy? Do you want something funny, or just customized to fit in with a running theme or decoration? These are questions that have to be answered before picking the best bathroom sign to improve the decor. Whatever you decide, just realize that there is a huge world of different signage out there for your bathroom, and that your choices and your options are about as wide as your imagination.

Persuasive Writing Topics - Great Ideas For Persuasive Writing

Whether it is for a school assignment or for a personal whim, choosing persuasive writing topics is as important as the content. However, there are certain times when choosing among many persuasive writing topics can become a difficult process.

This happens to both novice and experienced writers, so there is really no need to fret about it. If you are experiencing this kind of "writer's block", here are a few tips you might want to consider when choosing for that topic you need or want. What Is Persuasive Writing? Before anything else, you need to know what persuasive writing is really all about. This will give you a guideline on how to choose a topic. Persuasive writing is composing an article or an essay that contains the objective opinion of a person specifically the author. In a written article, you may write to persuade the readers to do something they have not done before or to just support your point of view. In persuasive writing, you need to make the readers believe what you write. Most Common Persuasive Writing Topics There are a lot of different persuasive writing topics that have been composed before. Among all the topics, the most common are smoking, abortion, health, politics and rights of women. Persuasive writing topics should not only be limited to these. You can write just about any topic you want. Remember to do extensive research about the subject. Opinions based on experience, supported by facts, will have a very effective outcome. How To Choose Your Topics If you are tasked to create your own persuasive writing topics and you need to write about it, then it can be quite difficult especially if you are not inclined to writing. The same goes to people who are not that opinionated. So how do you choose your persuasive writing topics? The first thing you need to consider when choosing for a topic is whether it is interesting or not. This does not pertain to the interest of your possible readers, but of your interest. You need to choose a topic that sparks interest in you. How will you be able to persuade a reader if you can't even persuade yourself with the specific topic? Second, before you choose the topic, you need to reflect on what the purpose of your persuasive article is. You need to have an objective to make it easier to choose your topic. When you already have a list of your potential persuasive writing topics, you can now ask the opinions of other people. Through this, you can find out which of your topics can also spark the interests of other people.

Best Wrinkle Cream Review - Tips to Select Best Wrinkle Cream

"Wrinkle Creams" that phrase that has changed the way dermatologists used to research about the skin texture. "Best Wrinkle Cream", the word which gets the highest attention among the women. Best wrinkle creams have finally won the race and beaten the front runners like Botox and facelift surgeries in terms of searches on the web. Women after thirty become self conscious about the way they look. Then they pursue these words on the internet and end up trapped in the viscous cycle of the selfish promotion by the manufacturers.

The Wrinkles and the skin sagginess are natural and can be dealt with once you know how to choose the right skin type product. One of the way outs is to trust the reviews done by the eminent dermatologists and public figures, who have defied the aging signs themselves. The general conception about the wrinkle cream reviews is that the more expensive the sweeter it is. However, you may be disappointed when you see the actual facts being revealed after a good test. Botox, for example, is expensive but has an array of side effects but natural agents like honey and others can be really helpful in triggering anti aging effects. Bullet points that may hit your Conscience:- 1. Is this natural? With the present age being tagged as the age of contamination, it is very important to see that your product selection is good and that you it delivers lead you to the expected ageless path of youth. Best wrinkle cream has to be natural in its formulation to trigger natural benefits. 2. What is the price range? The price range is decided by two contributory factors: marketing cost and the effective ingredient of the cream. It is very important that you know which factor has a heavier share. A hugely marketed product wild always cost more than an effective product with lesser market attention. Marketing helps you to grab eyeballs whereas the ingredients help you to get results. 3. Does it reduce the fell of the wrinkles? Well, when you are young you can generally feel that your skin is very plump on touch but with aging that feel decreases. Wrinkles of the skin can get lighter with a prolonged usage of a natural wrinkle reducing agent like the Resveratrol, or matrixyl 3000. 4. Does it suit My Skin type? There are many skin types which makes it difficult to arrive on a perfect conclusion about choosing the product which may help your cause. The people who know the root causes of the wrinkles always want the best wrinkle creams to be composed of some of the best natural ingredients like the Resveratrol, micro collagen and others. Don't Know where To Go? Considering all the questions that may haunt you, we decided to conduct a market research about the products that are available in the market and ended up finding that natural is the best. Natural wrinkle creams are often called the best as they are devoid of any side effects. However to choose one out of a million is a herculean task. But don't worry; we have crafted a way out of this problem of selection by choice. We have reviewed the most widely acknowledged wrinkle creams in the town to come up with a comprehensive result. That's not all: we have added a personalized research by simply comparing them on the grounds of effectiveness, cost and ingredients.

Christmas Games For Adults That Are Silly, Quiet, Fun and More

Who said Christmas games are only for children? Christmas games are for adults, too, and they don't have to be serious. After all, adults like to get their game on to relive a few silly childhood moments. Get the holiday fun started with these fun-loving adult Christmas games.

Silly Adult Christmas Games Does your group look for any excuse to be silly? Why not choose a Christmas game that is based on being silly? Give each team a pair of pantyhose and eight balloons. When the game starts, the team blows up the balloons to stuff into the legs of the hose. To ensure the game is totally fair, the pantyhose should be queen size and the teams of equal number. The game is finished when someone gets all the balloons in the legs of the pantyhose, puts on the stuffed "antlers" and sings the first verse of the holiday favorite, "Jingle Bells". When everyone finishes the game, take photos of all your friends wearing funny antlers made of balloons and pantyhose. Adult Relay Christmas Games Do your friends enjoy relay games? Why not make your own Santa beard? Put out two oversize bowls filled with cotton balls and a jar of petroleum jelly. Dab petroleum jelly on each team member's chin. The 2 teams should each have around 5 people. The first player in each line runs to one of the bowls to grab cotton balls and stick them to their greasy chins. When they get as many cotton balls as possible stuck on their chins, the players run to the next player to give them a turn. When the entire team is wearing a Santa Beard, they are the winners. This is another holiday game that really begs you to take pictures so you can show them off for years to come. Keep water and towels handy to remove the petroleum jelly when the game and photo session is over. Quiet Christmas Games For Small Groups Are your friends a small, quiet group who prefer less demonstrative games? Why not pack up a bag for Santa? The game starts when you say, "I packed a bag for Santa Claus and put in some socks." The next player goes on to say, "I packed a bag for Santa Claus and put in some socks and books." As each player continues they includes all the listed items and add their own item. When you miss an item on the list, you are out of the game. Child-Inspired Christmas Games For Adults Do your friends love to relive their childhoods during Christmas? Why not give your guests a chance to do it at your Christmas party with a fun game that reminds them of a childhood favorite? Make your own Christmas scavenger hunt with search teams of 4 or so. Create lists of items for the teams to return with. You can keep the search local at your house or within the neighborhood area. Include holiday items in the scavenger hunt such as a red stocking, a sprig of holly and a small wreath. If you decide to extend the scavenger hunt through town, it gets even more exciting. Have your guests purchase a box of holiday themed cereal or take a picture to prove they visited the local Christmas tree. Be creative and make the hunt action-packed. Everyone loves this Christmas game because it reminds them of childhood. It's a great way to socialize because as everyone works together they get to know each other better. Adult Kiss Christmas Games Who doesn't love chocolate and kisses? Is that why Hershey's Kisses are such as hit at Christmas? Break your group into two teams with two bowls of Hershey's Kisses on either side of the room. Give each team a set of really big gloves or mittens. The first person in line runs to the bowls and must unwrap and eat the a Kiss wearing bulky gloves. Once done, the player runs back to tag the next person and give them the gloves. When all team members are the first to enjoy their own Kiss, the group wins.

100 Creative Presentation Ideas

Creative Presentation Ideas - It's Showtime!

Listed below are just 3 of the 100 creative presentation ideas you can use to make your presentation unforgettable. You may use these creative presentation ideas when speaking to potential investors, at management forums, conference lectures or with your colleagues, employees, or any other presentation you have to make. Each creative idea is described in the following format: Basic description of the creative presentation idea What for? major benefits of the idea, or how it may be used Variations on the creative idea: how you can adapt the idea to different settings, goals and audiences Comments: things you should pay attention to when using the creative idea Well, here comes the first creative presentation idea: Creative Presentation Idea #1: Description: Do not use titles in your slides What for? Tell the viewers that you left out the presentation titles intentionally in order to see if you could deliver your main points clearly When using the presentation as a learning aid in a workshop, if your audience is required to complete the titles, they will have to think about what you are teaching and actively participate in the discussion Variations: Leave the titles out for only some of the slides - perhaps the ones that will be used for a review of the presentation so far, or to trigger a discussion on a controversial issue Write only half of the title, and ask your audience to complete it Comments: You can use a printed "complete" version of the presentation for yourself, so you can see the titles you meant to use The creative ideas I suggest are of different kinds and levels. Some are crazier than others. You should choose the one that best suits your presentation needs. Do you want to make a really bold statement? Here is a more outrageous idea: Creative Presentation Idea #75: Description: Present the presentation blindfolded! What for? You could definitely demonstrate your knowledge of the subject and a good memory skill as well as self-confidence by using this idea Use it to add some humor to your presentation: after you put the blindfold on, intentionally make some funny mistakes when referring to the slides, and only then show them that you know what you're talking about... Variations: Put the blindfold on for just a short part of the presentation, when you want to make a dramatic effect Provide blindfolds for the participants, so their sense of hearing will be heightened and you could test their memory after a few slides! Comments: Take care not to offend people with disabilities (e.g. blind people, etc.). Use this technique when you are certain you can do so tactfully and with good taste As you might have noticed by now, these creative presentation ideas do not rely on an incredible knowledge of Power Point, or on unreasonable production expenses. Actually, in some of the ideas you don't even have to use Power Point at all!. Here's one: Creative Presentation Idea #31: Description: Have a painter/caricaturist assistant - drawing images/cartoons on a flip chart as you explain What for? This would make your presentation "live" on the go. Instead of using slides, the sketches would visually convey the major points you are trying to get through. For example - when you talk about the tough task lying ahead, a simple drawing of mountaineers climbing up a steep mountain would etch that image in the viewers mind. A caricaturist could add a touch of humor to your presentation with funny images and hints Variations: If you have the talent - you could draw the sketches yourself as you speak. If there's an electronic drawing pad - you could use it and show the drawings on a screen as they are drawn. Alternatively - ask some of the participants themselves to help you and draw those images on the flip chart as you speak. You could prepare and give the participants a comic book with the important things you talked about. Comments: Make sure there are enough flip chart pages you could use, and that everyone can see them well. Rehearse the presentation with the painter and the list the major subjects you are going to talk about so that s/he would have time to think about how to make meaningful and relevant drawings. Here are a few pointers on where to find the person to draw for you: look for high school or college art students who wish to practice and demonstrate their talent for a small fee or free of charge; ask around for other employees that have that talent and are willing to give a hand. Of course, if the presentation is worth the investment, you may always hire a professional caricaturist.

Why is My Itchy Vagina Also Sore? - Reasons For Painful Vaginal Itching Infections

There is nothing more embarrassing than having an itch on the vagina when out socializing. It's funny if you think about it, if an itch is on the end of your nose, your head or ear you scratch it regardless of who stands before you, but when it's round the crotch/anus then the way we get relief is not so openly done. Could this have something to do with why the genitals are called the privates, hence the secrecy between fingers meeting up with the itchy vagina? Okay it doesn't look nice to scrawb at your bits when in the company of people, but an itch is an itch and made for scratching. And another thing is, what must people think for why you scratch i.e. pubic lice (crabs) or maybe VD might even cross their mind. Now you can always retreat around the corner out of sight to scratch, or find the root cause for your itchy vagina and cure it. There are many reasons accountable for a vaginal itch or anus one. If you itch because you have a vaginal rash then this is easily treated and rid using home treatments, however and more often than not an itchy vagina comes about from vaginal infections.

One infection strongly connected for causing an itch is vaginal thrush. As with specific infections they can also affect the vaginal opening and surrounding skin along with pain. Bear in mind that not all women get the symptoms associated with infection but if they do, the way they cope and respond to vaginal treatments can differ greatly. There are 3 common infections we address on a regular basis and the reason why is, because it is normally one of them that is responsible for a vaginal itch. If you experience vulval discomfort then we look towards the thrush infection, bacterial vaginosis, trichomonas vaginalis and herpes simplex. Thrush Thrush as we are aware is caused by a fungal organism called Candida albicans which lives in our bodies. Candida albicans grow and mass around the genitals which bring on thrush symptoms. Clarified symptoms are a white, thick, yeasty smelling vaginal discharge, and a very itchy sore and red vulval region. Sometimes the rectum (anal) opening can also become painfully itchy. Most Vaginal infections excluding some STDs are treated with antifungal drugs, vaginal creams, and vaginal pessaries. Creams and pessaries which need inserting inside the vagina can however cause burning and skin irritation similar to the thrush infection. Because of this confusion comes to the fore over whether it 's the side effects of the treatment or the symptoms of the infection. Although vaginal treatments are deemed safe - particular feminine products have to be ideal for you and the infection you suffer from. If vulval skin is itchy and sore then cream can help with easing discomfort. Some medications come in oral form. Personal preference will prevail for whatever treatment you use, however if it is not a 100% for clearing your infection then it is waste of time and money leaving you still infected. Temporary cures are not want you want you want rid and gone forever. If you're pregnant or breastfeeding consult with GP before using vaginal treatments. Treatment for thrush can be obtained from the pharmacy but talk to the pharmacist before purchase because; it is possible to mis-use treatments for vaginal itching/soreness that are not thrush. Wrong treatments may lead to long-standing vulval problems and can worsen the condition you set out to heal. Don't let anyone tell you any different that after being diagnosed with thrush that you have been sexually active. Thrush is not a sexually transmitted infection. Thrush does not always cause symptoms in men and may present as balanitis or a non-specific urethritis (NSU.) Bacterial Vaginosis Bacterial Vaginosis also like thrush bringing soreness, burning and itching of the vulva but hardly ever sees redness or swelling. We associate the unpleasant fishy smell with bacterial Vaginosis and a smelly grey or white vaginal discharge. Bacterial Vaginosis (BV) happens when the good bacteria in the vagina are removed to make way for bad bacteria. So it is bad bacteria we look to treat and destroy to ease soreness, relieve itching and rid the fishy smell. Because of similar symptoms it is easy to think you have thrush when you have BV. Bacterial Vaginosis is the more severe out of the two infections because it can lead to internal infection called pelvic inflammatory disease. Trichomonas Vaginalis Have you been diagnosed with having Trichomonas Vaginalis but at the time of diagnosis did not hear clearly or understand what the GP had to say. This happens regular where a woman might have been frightened by the medical term used for her condition and goes home none the wiser. Well Trichomoniasis or Trich as it is called at times is a vaginal infection which causes vulva soreness, reddening and inflammation. A common symptom of Trich is a foamy, yellow greenish vaginal discharge. Some women feel pain when weeing. The organism responsible for the symptoms is a parasite in the vaginal mucus. It spreads through penetrative vaginal sex and the exchange of vaginal fluid, meaning, sharing sex toys or sex gadgets. Herpes Simplex is a viral infection This virus exists in two types. Herpes simplex type 1 appears as cold sores around the mouth, and herpes simplex type 2 involves the genitals. When the infection first takes hold, painful sores show on the vulva and vagina. It may hurt to urinate as urine is acidic and stings if it comes in contact with herpes sores. Other symptoms include a tingly and itchy vagina, swollen glands in the groin and general flu-like symptoms. Swollen glands or flu-like symptoms only happen during the first attack. As with particular viral infections, there is no permanent way of ridding herpes and its recurrence. Now we have covered vaginal infections let us focus on the vaginal rash and how to treat it. This should not take long as it is just simply water that will do the trick. There are solutions for soothing but just keeping the vagina fresh airy and dry will speed up the recovery process making this the best solution.

Halloween Face Painting Ideas

Halloween is such fun for kids of all ages, and adults too. Here are some face painting ideas to get you in the Halloween spirit.

Halloween face painting idea 1: pumpkin A bright orange pumpkin painted on each cheek. Black paint used to paint eyes, nose and mouth. A light grey would be used to show the ridges of the pumpkin as well as its outline. An alternative would be to do a full face pumpkin with an orange face base (blending a darker orange shade over cheekbones), black triangle shape over the eyes (extending above and below the eye area), a black nose and a large black mouth (need to cover more than just the lips). Halloween face painting idea 2: skull A full face design. Has a white face as the base, large black 'panda' eyes, black and white vertical stripes on the lips (with the white stripes wider than the black ones) and a trickle of red from one side of the mouth (to indicate blood). Halloween face painting idea 3: vampire A full face design. A white face base, bright red lips, fangs coming out of each corner of the lower lip (outline is light grey, fill is white, and tip is red to denote some blood), eye lids are smoky grey (right up to and over eye brows), eye brow then exaggerated with black sweeping strokes. Halloween face painting idea 4: bat A full face design. A white face base, bat's face painted on forehead above the nose (it's in black with light grey for eyeballs, and for some definition in ears); the bat's body is painted in black on the nose and ends at the base of the nostrils (use different shadings of black; the bat's wings extends out from head and body and covers the eyes curving up towards the temple and down the outside of the eye to mid cheek (again use different black shadings and some fine dark grey strokes to paint some definition into the wings); the lips are painted in dark grey with an exaggerated upward curl at the corners.

Funny Text Messages

We will now upgrade your brain, please wait...

...searching...searching...still searching... ...sorry NO BRAIN found How a man impresses a woman: kiss her, hug her, compliment her, love her, tease her, protect her, listen to her, support her How a woman impresses a man: Show up naked with beer. I'm sure you were born in this world as a cute baby. Now that you're a grownup, I have one question..... What happened? If asked to choose between two evils: "money" and "women" choose the lesser evil "money" even though it will attract the greater evil Any woman that thinks the way to a mans heart is through his stomach is aiming just a little too high. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory. A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. What is the difference between a woman and a magnet? Magnets have a positive side! Jesus loves you...everyone else thinks you're an asshole! At this moment 3.7 million are sleeping, 2.3 million are falling in love, 4.1 million are eating and only 1 fool in the whole world is reading this text. Bride's Dad hands a note to the groom: 'GOODS DELIVERED ARE NOT RETURNABLE.' Groom gave another note back to father: 'CONTRACT VOID IF SEAL IS BROKEN.' My girlfriend always laughs during sex - no matter what she's reading. Always Remember Money isn't everything! But make sure you have made enough of it before talking such nonsense -Bill Gates- Newsflash: Police are looking for a suspect who's smart, sexy, witty and very gorgeous. They've already eliminated you from the list of suspects. Where do you think I should hide?